~•} C H A P T E R|23 {•~

"I am not comfortable Aakarsh."
Aakarsh lips pressed together in a hard line. His brows furrowed as he pondered over the few words that left her mouth.
His lips parted away to form words but were cut off by her hurried words,
"Please don't get angry, I am not saying that you make me uncomfortable but it's just that it's very difficult to suddenly see you behaving like this when in the past..." She heaved a sigh before continuing "My body and mind are still adapting to all this. You still make me scared..."
The last sentence was just a hushed whisper but the calm silence of the room enabled him to hear her blazing words which pierced his delicate heart.
But he knew, he knew he deserved it for causing her the pain and trauma. The plea at the start of the sentence was enough to wrench his entire soul into the agonizing guilt. This was what he did to the girl who stood by him in his bad time.
He scared her.
For Raina, it was itself a great achievement to let out the thing which had been inside her for some time now. With utmost courage, she finally let out how he was making her feel.
He wasn't making her feel uncomfortable. But the sudden change in his demeanor was making her feel obscure about him. She now had no idea what would make him angry, how would he react, or what he now wanted from their relationship.
"Why? Why do I make you scared, now?" It was a simple question held out with sheer desperation from Aakarsh Rathore as his eyes bored into hers.
Being scared of him previously made sense but now, it didn't!
Afterall he changed, didn't he?
That single question broke the restraint over her pent-up emotions as she blankly stared ahead into his desperate orbs.
"Aakarsh, I feel like I don't even know the tiniest bit of you I seemed to since the past few months I spent with you. I don't know what to believe and what to not. I know I said I forgive you but I am not able to forget the way you have been with me in the past so soon as you want me to." A deep exhale left her mouth as she stared now into the floor.
Then she turned, holding his wrist in her delicate palm made her stand in front of the mirror as she stood just behind him.
"All you can see is the dark brown orbs staring back into you Aakarsh. But all I remember is these brown orbs were filled with anger just a few days ago and now with adoration for me."
"All I could remember is that I have seen three sides of you. One, the Aakarsh Rathore I had seen before getting married, the man who loved boxing and spending time with nature."
"Two, the Aakarsh Rathore who hated women, just need the tiniest reason to get angry and had been nothing but at his worst behavior since the time we got married and even forgot that he had a wife."
"Three, the Aakarsh in front of me right now, whose eyes are filled with regret and is trying hard to repent, he is expressive, emotional and likes to touch or hug just opposite of his previous self who didn't like someone's touch!" Her shoulders hunched as she turned away from him and inhaled sharply.
"I don't even know what to believe and what to not Aakarsh. I don't know why you are suddenly being too good with me? I don't know what I did to suddenly gain your attention when however I behaved was like my previous times? And I don't know when your real self among the three will surface out... I don't know who is real Aakarsh Rathore. I don't know till when I will be able to gain your attention and special treatment... I don't know..." Her voice cracked at the end as she sniffed, trying hard not to let the sudden tears build up in her eyes to fall.
She didn't want to sound like a weak person and definitely, this wasn't the right time to break apart, not in front of him at least.
Aakarsh's gaze was fixed on the floor, his breathing came out ragged as he could once again feel the anger building inside him. This time directed towards himself.
His lungs constricted painfully as he felt difficult to breathe. The guilt was suffocating him. But he knew he needed to hear all that and she needed to let all that out.
If the outburst resulted in her feeling little light then he would gladly hear it again even if it will suffocate him throughout his life.
That was the least he could do after putting her up through the worst.
A deep exhale left his mouth the moment he lifted his head and looked at her and the way she was controlling herself from breaking down.
Knowing well he did it, it still hurts every time he saw her in a position like this.
It hurts so much that it feels like his insides were gonna explode from so much guilt inside him.
But Alas! What could be done when the deed is already done.
His shoulders drooped as he ran a hand through his hair in utter frustration giving them a messy look.
He turned and poured out a glass of water. He forwarded the glass towards her who blinked at him for a few seconds in confusion before accepting the glass of water.
He could see her getting much calmer now.
Keeping a hand on her shoulder he saw her flinch sharply making him close his eyes for a brief moment in frustration, towards himself for forgetting about what she said earlier.
Just when he was about to retract his hands back, she opened her eyes and those eyes bored right into his brown ones.
"Sit," His voice was heavy with emotions or more precisely guilt as he pointed towards the couch.
He didn't pressurize her more and sat down on one end of the couch leaving a huge amount of space for her.
After a minute or so he heard shuffling behind him and then she sat behind him looking at the tiled floor, her body was stiff in kind of a protective manner to what was coming next.
He ran a hand over his face noticing the so slight details and started in a soft and hushed tone, "Raina... I know that any kind of apology won't heal your trauma or change the way you are feeling about me currently. But still, I want to say that I am sorry for whatever you had to go through because of me. And..." He inhaled deeply before looking right into her curious eyes which were staring right into him and continued,
"And I just want to say that however, I am behaving with you currently is not any kind of act or play, I am doing it wholeheartedly. You aren't wrong in your place when you say that you have seen three sides of me including my worst one but I just want to confess that no side is fake nor they are completely real. This is what I am Raina, a complicated man. I may be behaving like a really sweet man with you right now but at the same time I can't deny my temperamental issue." He closed his eyes breaking their eyes lock.
"The Aakarsh Rathore you knew before marriage is also me, the man who loves to travel and is passionate about boxing. The Aakarsh Rathore you saw after marriage is also me, the man who hates women. I still don't like them, it's just that now you don't come in my category of that kind of woman. I am still the Aakarsh who is short-tempered. I still am the person who forgot his wife alone in a city unknown to her at night but believe me Raina it wasn't intentional even if I didn't like you at that time but still again I am sorry. I am so so sorry and I was even at that night just didn't have the guts to come out of my ego and confess this out that night." His voice had the tiniest weaver at the end as he inhaled sharply.
"I am still the man who doesn't like to get touched by strangers but I am also the man whose language of showing affection is touching. I am still the man who loves receiving hugs from my people. I am complicated and have my flaws but this is how I am Raina. I am a human with flaws. I regret the way I treated you in past but I can assure you that was only because I misunderstood you into a kind of woman you aren't. Now that I have understood the kind of woman you are, I assure you that I will never treat you that way. I will never hurt you intentionally and in my sane mind." The way his tone changed from sentence to sentence showed that whatever he spoke came out straight through his heart. But one thing was clear, the sheer determination to come out true to his words in the future and Raina could sense it too.
But one question was constantly swirling in her mind now that why did he misunderstand her in the first place?
"Why did you misunderstand me in the starting months of our marriage? And how did you now think that I am not that kind of woman you dislike Aakarsh?" She questioned aloud not wanting to create more confusion regarding him, also his answer would most probably help her in kind of understanding him.
"To be very honest the fact you were a businessman's daughter was enough for me to dislike you at that very moment but still I wanted to talk to you before marriage and explain that this marriage was only a business deal for me and you won't receive any efforts from my side in this marriage because I simply disliked the idea of marriage and didn't want to get married ever but wasn't able to deny my father's wish, also we were getting a lot of profit. It was all gain for the gain situation for me but I wanted you to know all this and decide whether you will be able to spend your life like this or not. I even came to your house two freaking times to talk to you and even took your no. from your father but you never picked up the call nor did you talk after all you were very busy in your shopping for a marriage where you didn't even meet the man you were marrying! From there I misunderstood you as a woman who was just after mone-"
He was cut off by her flat voice, "Who told you that I was busy?"
"Your father of course!"
She sighed hearing his response and stated,
"Aakarsh I never received any call nor did I ever go on a wedding shopping. From the color of my nail paint to the kind of lehenga I wore... Everything was decided by mom."
She could feel the way he was staring at her when suddenly he threw the steel glass on the tiled floor, creating a loud bang.
"Mr. Goenka is such a bastard." He cursed as again his short-tempered side surfaced out.
Raina didn't verbally hum but mentally agreed to what her husband said.
Her good-for-nothing father deserved much more than this for always causing havoc in her life.
She knew that her father was well aware that the talk with Aakarsh Rathore could lead to the breaking of this alliance so he was smart enough not to even let them converse.
And about her life, she was just a mere pawn for that man for his business.
The man who asked his daughter to come to his use for once in his life and had emotionally blackmailed her regarding her dead mother.
'Your mother will never be proud of a daughter who disrespect's her father. You are nothing but bringing shame to her upbringing.'
The exact words echoed in her mind and she clenched her fists hard. She was smart enough to know all this was emotional blackmail but who said this wouldn't hurt? This hurt very bad because she knew her dead mother was blindly in love with her father and would have said the same thing if her father asked her to.
'Never disrespect your father Raina. He is the man who is providing us everything and this is the least we can do in return.'
Her dead mother's words resonated in her mind at the same time and were unknown to her, tears brimming in her eyes.
"Oh my god, Raina. I am so sorry for cursing your father. But please don't cry over that man, I mean don't cry over my words. You know I am a fool-"
She heard Aakarsh blabber as he saw the tears ready to trickle and cut him off, "It's nothing like that. Something went into my eye just that."
Aakarsh knew better but kept quiet. Afterall whatever he did, did he even have the right to question her?
And her earlier confession only drowns him more in the big of guilt.
Wiping the corner of her eyes, she mumbled, "I want to sleep now, Aakarsh."
He hummed in response with a grinning face but stood up to complete her demand.
Whereas she still had some questions left regarding whatever he confessed but not every question was to be answered only today, right?
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Ishani looked past her mobile phone which she was scrolling while laying on the bed as she owned it when Vardhaan Rathore stepped inside the room with a slight curve playing on his lips.
Ishani swirled her eyes in annoyance as she gazed at him, "What are you doing here, Vardhaan?"
"Aww, Thankyou for such a warm welcome Mrs. wifey."
"What the hell is this Mrs. wifey!?"
"My new name of pet for you." He answered with a sweet smile.
"Name of pet? Seriously Vardhaan!?"
"Umm... Pet name or name of a pet, same things, isn't it Mrs. wifey!?"
Biting the inside of her cheeks to control her anger, she spat out angrily, "Get lost from here Mr. Brat. I did what you asked me to and now this room belongs to me and solely me for three fucking days. So get lost!"
Vardhaan only chuckled in response and said, "I am here only to pack my stuff for three days Mrs. wifey." and moved towards his closet and started stuffing his clothes in a bag.
"Plus, it was fun to see a fight you know."
"Enjoy your fun coz I don't really care."
"Aww, baby won't you care about what Ruhanika bhabhi will think of you?"
"No, toddler. Because if I get this room for myself and not have to see your worthless face then it is all worth it."
Vardhaan only laughed in response.
He had promised Ishani to lend her the room for three days without his presence if she agreed to dig in this 'second wife matter' that too not so nicely. Because what was fun in that?
The reason was simple,
No body in the family knew why Ruhanika married Yuvraj at such an age. Was the reason money or something deeper? Was her love for Yuvika an act or was it genuine?
Call him a selfish bastard or anything. He loved Yuvika and his brothers the most even if he wouldn't show it.
"Also, Vardhaan I know what you are trying to do. I know you want everyone in the family to hate me but all I want to say is that it doesn't really matter to me who in this family thinks bad about me because all I want is to separate from you and your family." His thoughts were disturbed by her words.
Ishani might've been a bit guilty about the previous encounter but she shrugged it off as she was on her own to survive in this zoo. If she didn't prioritise herself, she would get crushed by the animals living here.
Did she regret it? Maybe, but getting the room to herself for three days made it worth it.
He whistled softly to himself as if she wasn't talking to him but somebody else.
"Arghh! Don't lie baby. You just got a reason to bad mouth bhabhi. I know you hate her so you enjoyed that." He winked at her in end.
Ishani just dramatically swirled her eyes towards him and retorted, "I am a selfish bitch that's why I accepted your offer dear hubby. I have no personal grudge towards Ruhanika to say those harsh things to her intentionally."
"See, now calling her Ruhanika!"
"She is literally younger than me! Like come on, she is only 22!" Ishani reasoned out.
"I see someone is getting jealous. She is younger than you yet she is in a higher position than you... Such a shame." He tried to get on her nerves whereas Ishani just chuckled.
"I am 23. Yet I feel I am too small for all this marriage shit. Do you think this is a reason to be jealous or pity that she is burdened with so many responsibilities and ungrateful people when she should be out there chilling her life like girls of her age!? For you, it's a privilege dear husband but all I can see is a golden cage." Ishani pointed out this time was completely serious.
"She doesn't complains so you better not judge Ishani," Vardhaan said getting a little defensive as alas! truth hurts, isn't it?
"I have no mood to judge someone. I like not to poke my nose in someone's matter."
Ruhanika is the only exception.
Ishani whispered in her mind, the mystery around the young bhabhi was too much to let go.
"Oh! So was my brother Aakarsh an exception?"
"See, I liked Raina genuinely and was concerned for her. I didn't know the truth and how the fuck I am supposed to trust your brother when you all didn't? I had only spent time with you and the amount of time I spent with you, I know you are a shitty excuse for a man." She smiled sarcastically at last.
"So in other words you are admitting you don't like the other two bhabhis." Vardhaan smiled victoriously.
Ishani sighed, this man was really getting on her nerves.
"So you are indirectly saying the other two married for money. Aww, how bad you are Mrs. wifey." Vardhaan grinned as, by the way, her breathing was turning sharp, he could feel her anger grow more and more. Today he was way too free for his good so irritating her seemed like the best option so far.
"Jokes on you, Naina bhabhi already belonged from a rich family leaving Ruhanika as the only exception... Even if she did marry for money, was your brother a fucking child?" She smiled sarcastically at the end.
"So happy being a gold digger?" He questioned lazily seeing her all worked up, as his lips twisted into a sly smile.
"You men get married seeing beauty so why the hell is getting married for money only criticized! For god's sake getting married for money to a man is not wrong as at last money is what works in this world. Man is happy, a woman is happy so why the hell do you care!"
"So indirectly you are saying that you will happily stay married to me for money or would have happily married me if I offered you a huge sum of money?" He questioned raising his brows, this time a little serious.
Ishani simply looked in his direction and blowing air on her nails which didn't have any trace of nail paint replied, "I said getting married to a man. Not animal." And grinned in satisfaction as Vardhaan clenched his jaw hard.
"Ishaniiii!" He roared angrily.
"Oops sorry!" She raised her hands in defense to which Vardhaan hummed still glaring at her.
"The feelings of animals will get hurt when they will be compared to you. Only if they weren't voiceless then they must have been protesting against this altogether saying, 'Do not compare us to a Spoilt brat'." She smiled sweetly in return whereas his glare hardened.
Thinking something he breathed deeply trying to calm himself down and zipped his bag.
He stood up all ready to exit the room but just before that shouted, "Mrs. wifey I am going on a business trip for three days so enjoy your stay in the majesty's room."
Ishani's eyes widened as she processed everything.
"You would have been gone even without this bet thing!?" She questioned enraged.
"Yes, baby. Feeling so sad for you. Have to spend three freaking days without a glimpse of your hottest husband. How will you even survive?" He fakes sympathies.
Breathing sharply Ishani picked up the knife from the fruit basket and pinged in his direction, "Get Lost from this room before I throw this knife somewhere you will regret!"
For a second Vardhaan was stunned but regaining his composure replied, "Yes, baby I will miss you too. Don't worry I will kiss the dog instead of you and think you."
Smiling victoriously he left when heard the sound of a vase smashing.
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Tick tock.
Tick tock.
Tick tock.
Ruhanika was intently listening to the sound of a wall clock in dead silence hanging in their room as she gazed at his sleeping form nervously.
It was 1:00 am and here she was sitting on the couch staring at her husband for what?
A book.
Yes, a simple book which her husband his a few days ago.
She was legit craving to read and finish that book from the last two days.
But how did that have a connection with Yuvraj's sleeping form and this time of night?
Well, because she saw him taking his sleeping pills today and she had seen that people in movies or books just tell answers of everything in their heavy sleep.
She also googled that, and yes, people do tell truth in their sleep!
She licked her dry lips and bit her lower lip nervously while approaching his sleeping form.
She swallowed hard to drench her dried throat and forwarded her quivering hands to shake him lightly so that he could come to his senses on the tiniest bit as just woken up people do not register their surroundings immediately.
"Yuvraj Ji, where is my book?" She whispered near him as if there were more people in the room.
And then his eyelids fluttered ever so slightly and he opened his eyes.
His hazy and hooded dark eyes punctured right into her shocked ones...
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